Superhero!

Someone somewhere probably have posted this before, but just humor me. What do you think is the most insignificant imaginary superhero ever? I'm thinking... Automotive Body Repairman. He'd be able to repair dents on your car, but he needs to recharge his powers for a week after each use. Plus he can't use it for material gains. Do tell me what you have in mind. :)

The All New iPhone

http://macbigot.com/media/iPhoneWallpaper1024x768.jpg

Move Over KITT!!!

LEDs are the new shades.

They're fun to watch and conspicuous.

Colorful and somewhat magnetic.

Not to mention energy efficient and durable.

And rumor has it that they serve well as a fashion statement too... .

And for you geeks out there, I bet my savings that you'd love to have a wicked cool Knight Rider-esque scanner lights on your belt buckle. Guaranteed to have the ladies running... away.

Get yours today at the ScrollingBuckle.com or at your local Made in China doohickey slash rip-off store.

THEY'RE REAL!!!

What did I tell ya? Eh? Eh? They are real! We're just one baby short. Maybe Maggie's the one behind the camera. It is spooky though. But, it's the effort that counts, right, you eerily yellow people?

R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle

Borrowed this from TokyoMango. Just open up his head, put some soy sauce (source?) into the cavity, close it up, and you're all set for geekdom. Now, can you pass my C3PO ketchup?

An Open Letter to Sosro

Dear Sosro,

First, allow me to thank you for the 1 liter pack. Truthfully I have had visions of it back when I was a toddler. I used to think that life would be better if a bottle of Teh Botol is not a bottle of Teh Botol but two bottles of Teh Botol, or even three, or occasionally four.

But why stop there, Sosro? Why not add another 9 liters to that pack? Why don't we make it a 10 liter Society Pack, or even a 20 liter gallon. It would make my life that much easier. I'm sure your millions of clientele will highly appreciate the product. Hopefully you may profit from the undubitable increase of sales you will come across. So you see, it's a win-win situation. You scratch our backs and we'll scratch yours.

To help you get started, I've also attached this gallon and dispenser concept. Hopefully this will come true in the near future.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Me

The Beverage of Gods

May I present to you the only liquid refreshment you'll ever need 'til infinity and beyond. This particular brand of bottled beverage offers you the perfect blend of tea, water, and sugar, thus creating the most sought after flavor in the entire universe. The flavor itself remains unchanged from the very first time it went on the market in the 1970s but this godly beverage has been able to entice every single tongue in the nation and beyond. Unlike Coke, you can't clean your toilet bowl with it so it's a heck of a lot safer for your body (that is, until you get that diabetes). Regardless, you can't find a more perfect blend of tea anywhere else in this world.

Now, behold, the latest revolution from Sosrodjojo, the 1 liter Teh Botak (Teh Botol Kotak) family pack. Actually, it's not as much as a revolution, but what the hey! It's bigger (duh!) and it's relatively cheaper. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Man, get a room!

Your Smile Tastes Like Rubber!

Do people frown at you everytime you smile? Do you have a hard time expressing happiness? Well say no more, help is on the way. Introducing the beauty smile trainer. This jelly like rubber will help you smile better so that people don't throw stuff at you anymore. Now, if only someone could help Mr. Nicholson shrink away his grin.

Brain Damaged

I just found out that goldfish have a memory span of only 3 seconds. Must be hard for them. They're like, "I'm gonna swim over to that little rock ornament over there and... Whoa, look at that nice rock ornament over there, maybe I'll... Hey, what's that? Wow, what a nice rock ornament... ." This goes on and on for 6-8 years until eventually they die of old age. (Or until they simply forget to breathe).

Speaking of brain disorders, I also happen to have one... or two... okay three. The first one is that I forget appointments, birthdays, daily activities that should be a routine, even names. That's normal, you say? Well, yeah, come to think about it, forgetfulness is such a common memory problem. Everyone tends to have one from time to time. I just wish that mine doesn't have to take place on a daily basis.

The second one is a part of my defense mechanism. Or at least I hope it is. Remember that Aussie girl from Lost who had several days of her life completely wiped out from her memory? Mine is something like that. How shall I put this into words? It's fairly easy for me to blank over bad memories. Like that time when... um... when... . Well, you get the point.

Now this last one is really annoying and not to mention dangerous. I almost crashed once because of it. Imagine this, you're driving a good distance from the car in front of you. Suddenly the car slows down. You noticed the blazing red brake lights. You noticed that car going to a halt. You can even start to read those tiny numbers at the bottom of the license plate. But somehow you fail to see the magnitude of putting your feet on the brake pad. The oh so vital infos from the retina reached your brain alright, but that's it, rendering you oblivious to what's about to happen. Suddenly your brain kicks in and all the infos came knocking down. You hit the brakes harder than you think possible leaving a trail of tiremarks behind. You manage to avoid the collision, barely. This rarely happens but when it does, dear God help me.

Well, sucks to be me, ain't it? But at least my memory's good enough to write a blog or something. Hey, look at that nice rock ornament!

WE'RE SORRY

I was watching Die Hard 4.0 (Live Free or Die Hard, state side) with Ms. B yesterday when the screen went blank halfway through the movie. Apparently, people do a lot of amusing stuff when these things happen. So it kinda went like this:

John Mclane kicking some ass
↓
Blank screen
↓
Audience applauded
↓
One guy yelled, "Hey, the movie's out!"
Yes, we know, retard.
↓
Some kids are running around the studio (Uh-huh, underage kids in an R rated movie. America isn't the land of the free. Indonesia is.)
↓
Some other guy poses in front of the screen as his friend took a picture.
↓
After 5 minutes, the screen went back on and gradually shows this:


This reminds me of Microsoft's notorious blue screen of death. Albeit a bit inelegant, at least the studio's kind enough to say they're sorry. Fortunately after a couple of minutes of the red screen of death, John McClane kicks back into action and the body count moves faster than you can say yipikayay.

After several disappointing movie sequels that heavily depended on CGIs, it's damn fun to watch a good old kick ass action movie. Move over Spiderman, John McClane's cleaning the town.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

Here's something you won't see everyday (or month... or year...). Steve Jobs and Bill Gates on the same stage, battling for world domination! Well, not exactly... .

HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR !!!

Get your daily dose of Brewster Rockit here: http://www.gocomics.com/brewsterrockit/2007/05/24/

Wait for Me!!!!!!

Imagine this. You were grabbing a bite with your two best friends, having the best porridge in town (Why porridge? Cos I said so). Prior to your first bite, another friend called and asked if you could bring his cell to his house. (He left it in your friend's car earlier. You've found it and brought it with you). After your first meal, you ended up chatting for a couple of minutes. Conversations ranged from friendship, work, lovelife, the usual suspects. In short, you were having a good time.

Afterwards, one of your friends paid the tab and the three of you started walking to her car. With them already sitting in front, you settled for the back seat. As you opened the rear door, something flashed in your mind. You left your friend's cell on the table next to the porridge bowl. Alerted, you briskly closed the car door and ran back to the shop. You asked the waiter if he had seen the phone. No luck... . You thought to yourself, maybe one of your friends has it.

You walked back to the parking lot only to find an empty parking space. ...pause for effect... Then you saw your friends car on the corner of your eye, rushing from the exit. You could've tried to run after them and risk looking awfully silly, but instead, your mind played a looping footage from several years ago, when you experienced something frighteningly similar.

Meanwhile, on board the car, both of your friends were apparently having a good time. Singing, talking, joking, and laughing, not a single hint of your absence in their conversation. But wait... what's that ringing? It's one of your friend's cell... and on the screen... your name was displayed as bright as ever. Took a couple of seconds for them to realize it. Then both of them glanced back to find an empty backseat.

And there you have it... a true story heard from a friend.

Even Google Has a Sense of Humor

Google opened up a new service called Google Toilet Internet Service Provider (or TiSP). They're basically offering you a fast and easy way to connect to the internet. But not with the usual dial-up, cable, or broadband connection, no, those are yesterday's technology. Google came up with a very... shall we say, innovative way for us to connect to the internet... via our toilet. After you apply to Google, you'll receive a TiSP installation kit. There's no easier way to explain how to install your new connection other than by literally flushing down the long fibre-optic cable included in the kit. The cable will then go through the plumbing system to one of the thousands of TiSP Access Nodes. You'll only need to connect the other end of the cable to the wireless router... and voila!, you're done! You're online, as simple as that.

Of course this is a seriously hillarious prank (which I assume you already realized after reading the term Toilet and Internet Service Provider in the same sentence). Here's to show you that even multi billion dollar companies do have some sense of humor. Microsoft could learn a thing or two.

Cookies, Cookies, and Fortune Cookies

The Fortune Cookie is a thin, crisp cookie baked around a piece of paper with words of faux wisdom or vague prophecy, usually served with Chinese food as a dessert. The message inside may also include a list of lucky numbers (used by some as lottery numbers) and a Chinese phrase with translation. Despite the conventional wisdom, they were actually invented in California, not China. (wiki)

Just yesterday I had my first fortune cookie in years. Was hoping to get a really, really good prophecy. Instead, I got a boring words of wisdom (i.e. "The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected.").

Yeek, I don't need that kind of thing. What I do need is some precise prophecy to give me some breathing room and hope for a better future. What I need... is this:

You Gotta Check Askaninja.com!

Got ahold of this show last year on itunes. Ask a Ninja started out as an internet video show last year, when the video podcasting hype was (and still is) young and vibrant. It's basically a one man show, featuring a ninja who answers any question (the sillier, the better) that you send to him via email (yeah, modern-day ninjas also use emails: askaninja@gmail.com).

The show always starts with the silly but remarkably catchy theme song (I am ninja // he is ninja // she is ninja too // I am ninja // we are ninjas // und I believe that you are ninja too). You'll get used too it (and grow to love it) each time you saw a new episode.

Next, the ninja will read out an email from a viewer which will also be the episode's theme (e.g: Jason asks a ninja: my wife really wants to know if ninjas need love)

Then he'll answer the question, ninja style. By ninja style, I mean total sillyness. Most of the time he'll say stupid remarks that'll guarentee to tickle your funny bones. Another time he'll make a fool out of himself. But he always maintain that cocky ninja personality, which is actually the soul of the show.

Here's one of my favorite excerpts:

Somebody asked the ninja how to teach his dog ninja skills. The ninja replies:
Just because you teach your dog the skills, doesn't mean that you control how he uses it.
I had a buddy of mine. He taught his dog to be a master of disguise.
Dog ran away.
Three years later, he found out his long time girlfriend
...
was actually his dog.
...
That'll mess you up,
talk about counseling... .
...

The Ask a Ninja Video Podcast is currently sitting on the top ten list on the iTunes comedy podcast category. You can check him out at www.askaninja.com.

Poop Your Ideas, Literally!

Here's something for you guys who likes puzzles as well as spending long times at the toilet. The company's website says that each square of the roll is printed with a different mind bending puzzle or game (in colour), that'll sure to keep you occupied while you are otherwise occupied.Very creative, and yet, very gross.

Grape Fanta!

Fanta lovers, rejoice! Back in the 90s, I used to love this yummy, yummy beverage. Then one day, it just vanished without a trace. The last time I went to Sogo, I found this! Well, it's not made in Indonesia, that's for sure. Otherwise it wouldn't cost as much (Rp 17.000,00 per can? That's pure rip-off). Despite the price, I bought one not just because of the nostalgic taste that it would undoubtly offer, but also because of the awe-inspiring pacakaging! Just look at it! Pretty cool huh? It's a can and a bottle... it's a cottle. And the graphics are also marvelous. Japanese graphics always makes me green with envy. I wonder how the strawberry and orange look like... . To wrap it up, GIVE ME BACK MY GRAPE FANTA, YOU LOUSY INDONESIAN FANTA PEOPLE!

Here are some flavors that I really, really hope that Fanta will never, ever, make:

1. Mineral Fanta
Cos that's like... stupid.

2. Durian Fanta
God put spikes on them for a reason! What other clue do you need? A sign on every Durian that says, 'DO NOT TOUCH'? Putting them in a Fanta bottle will be the worst insult to the beverage world.

3. Fanta Claus,
When you're old, and wrinkly
Don't be sad, be merry
Grow a beard, and a belly
And put on a suit, red as cherry
- Fanta Claus, for the jolly old man inside of us -

*update - Turns out, those lousy indonesian fanta people aren't that lousy after all. Welcome back to Indonesia, grape fanta!

My Ever-Successful Past

Did you watch last year's Academy Awards? Remember the part when I won the best supporting actor? Thx again for all your support everyone.

Incidentally, I found this cool website called 'The Academy Awards Acceptance Speech Generator'. So, if you're up for an Oscar but don't have the time to come up with an acceptance speech, be my guest.