Me, That Old Guy, and That Girl

In my country, people often view native girls hanging out with expatriates (we call them bule here, pronounced boo-lay, perhaps not that different with 'haole') as hookers. Of course, this is not always the case, but the basic rules to tell apart the hookers from the non hookers are as follows:
1. Usually the expat is far older than the hooker. Like... 15-20 years older... .
2. Hookers wears skimpy dresses (courtesy of the expatriates).
3. Most importantly, only a handful of hookers are fluent in English, as they don't need to take an English Proficiency Test to apply for their job. They may understand basic English, but they sure aren't ace conversationalists.

Those rules will apparently be put to the test later in this blog.

By the by, I'm writing this in Starbucks. Sitting on a sofa in front of me is a 'bule' and his hooky (sounded sweet in my head, thought I'd give it a try here). She's sitting next to my sofa. Here's how it happened. I was waiting for my ex, we were supposed to have dinner tonight. But she's available after 6, so I went to Starbucks and settled down on a three sofa table accompanied by a glass of frappe. I took out my trusty Macbook, put on my iPod, and started to revise my final paper. All's well for an hour. Took a gander at my watch, got half an hour left.

Out of nowhere, this 40 something bule came to me and asked if the sofa in front of me is taken. Half listening to Daughtry, I gave him a nod. To my bewilderment, Instead of pulling the sofa to another table, he sat there and motioned her young (20ish) lady friend wearing a short-short-short miniskirt to sit on the sofa next to me... . The place was empty for God's sake! Does he have to sit here at my table? My mind was stuck between "crap, do these guys know me?" and "awkward... awkward... awkward...". I tried to ignore them at first, hoping that they'd somehow have the decency to move those sofas a bit. But noooo... they're comfortable sitting there and chatting while I'm here, writing my blog to keep my sanity... and while I'm at it, I thought, I might as well make good use out of this situation.

Now, I refuse to engage in any conversation with them because then it would be harder for me to leave. But I still have my iPod on. So, first order of business, turn the volume down so I can eavesdrop on this lovely couple (all in the name of studying human behaviour, of course... and entertainment :D). Beg your pardon, Anna Molly, let me turn you down a little.

Bule: "... dress. But you look good in that."
Hooky: "Yes, I like. Thank you."
Bule: "You're welcome."

1 minute pause

Bule: "You should eat more, you look so thin."
Hooky: "I not thin, I eat much."
Bule: "Oh, really? But you look so thin. Do you exercise?"
Hooky: "Yes,... I run."
Bule: "Oh, you jog! That's nice. That's healthy."
Hooky: "Yes, nice. You run?"
Bule: "Me? Well, not as often as I should. But, yes, sometimes."
Hooky: nods dully
Bule: "Do you mind if we go back to our room after the movie?"
Hooky: "...Yes, is okay."
Bule: "Oh, we should be going, the movie's about to start!"

they both got up, and took off... just when things are starting to get juicy!

Well, there goes my afternoon with two complete strangers. It's been... quite educational... not to mention entertaining. Life lessons in a coffee house.